You're not Alone

The days of May, official Mental Health Awareness month, are coming to an end.

I wanted to write a post on Mental Health this entire month and I kept drafting and scrapping. It's certainly a complex subject. So here's the easy version.

Many people don't know I have struggled with depression since I was a teen. I am what many would consider high functioning: I hold a steady career, my relationships are for the most part steady, I take care of my health, my life is currently not in crisis, etc. However, are there days like today where I cannot manage to do what I have set out to do and stay in bed instead? Are there days where I have no clue why I am crying despite my tough and independent exterior? Do I sometimes have to call out sick because I do in fact need a MH day? Yup. And it sucks.

I want to share this if you are suffering too. I am your ally. I will always be in your corner. I may not know exactly what you are going through or your situation, but do not ever feel like you are inconveniencing me. Suicide rates are RAMPANT. Seriously, look at some statistics, especially among teens, LGBTQ communities, POC, the disenfranchised and so forth. If we all pledge to take care of one another (and ourselves- that is key!), then maybe it doesn't have to be this way. We can save those closest to us. We can be a network of friends and family that are a true support system.

I went down a rabbit hole of astrology yesterday for no particular reason and I learned about rising signs, moon signs, birth charts-- I was riding the inter-waves! Apparently Sagittarians are people that dislike small talk and prefer deep and meaningful conversations over water cooler chat. Please tell me something I don't know! If I hear one more conversation about the weather this week, I will lose my shit. Nothing annoys me more. Point being, let's not be afraid to check in with one another. When we ask our friends or acquaintances, "hey, how's it going?". What if we gave REAL answers?

"Thanks for asking. Actually, there's a lot going on. I'm stressed about work. It's overwhelming. My bills are piling up. I'm having trouble sleeping".

Or, we can celebrate the good stuff. "Well, things are looking up. I'm walking after work with my husband. I'm doing things for myself. I'm growing, evolving. Appreciate you asking and checking in".

Instead of the alternative, "Fine. Just fine".

COOL. THAT IS GOOD INFORMATION. I CAN REALLY VENTURE WHAT IS REALLY GOING ON IN YOUR LIFE WITH A FOUR LETTER WORD. THANKS, FRIEND-O.

Eye roll.

I'm still getting into podcasts and TED Talks (I feel like such an old person writing that sentence) but I did watch Brene Brown's Netflix special because I love all things Self Help. She discusses vulnerability, a word I have tended to shy away from. Maybe we all need to shed a layer to move forward, to make changes. Let's talk about hard stuff. Watch it. It's awesome, I am only scratching the surface here.

Anyway, I will now fold my laundry after I had been putting it off this three day weekend. I have just felt so exhausted. It had been a hard week for me with some family stuff, my husband being out of town, a new roommate moving in, playing catch up at work. But I'm making it happen. That's how I'm doing, how about you?

Lastly, I am hoping to post more in the future. I am doing much better and I want to fill my space around me with more positivity and love-- admittedly, it has not always been a huge focus in my life in recent years due to .... the powers that be...!?!

Feel free to share! I am hoping to get the momentum to do this on a more frequent basis. Sometimes I too need some accountability, support and glittery, neon colored, Lisa Frank type vibes.

Until then...